I'm not going to lie. My pride took a pretty hard hit this weekend. I guess that's just God's way of making sure I don't turn into a total brat???? I'm not really sure. Nonetheless, last night I wasn't sure I could pick myself up again. A bit of background in case you don't know me.... I play softball with my husband. Our season starts in the spring and we play through the fall when the weather starts turning gross. This is my second year playing and I absolutely love it. I play outfield, usually left or left center, and take pride in the fact that I can catch, run, and hit without looking like a stupid girl. :) I take pride in the fact I can keep up with boys in sports (and sometimes beat them) and they are usually impressed. Well, we had two games last night, and I did in fact look like a stupid girl. I don't know what was wrong with me, I was definitely having an "off" night. The only time I got on base was when I got walked. I dropped 3 balls in the outfield, which hardly ever happens. When I got up to bat, the other team was chanting, "she's a looker, not a hitter. She won't ever hit the ball." I probably would have started a fight if my husband wasn't there to calm me down. I was ready to fight that dumb girl on the other team saying those mean things. ( I get a little intense when I play sports - just ask my team. I made a guy on MY OWN TEAM quit after I yelled at him for dropping a ball. I am not proud of that; I did apologize to him though.) So after our first game, I thought to myself, "well, I can redeem myself and regain my dignity during our second game." That didn't happen. I played worse than my 1st game. I walked home in shame that night. I tried to find something that I could be mad at my husband Patrick about, but I knew deep down I was really just mad and irritated with myself, which made me even more mad! I barely said two words all night to him. Am I dramatic? Absolutely. But when I put my heart into something, I put my WHOLE heart into it, so it hits me twice as hard when things don't go my way, or I fail at something.
Well, things always look better in the morning after a good strong cup of coffee, I have come to learn. It's best if I just go to bed and sleep it off. I can laugh about it now, but it felt so real to me at the moment. I felt like I never wanted to play again, that I should just give up and quit. I know someone out there understands my rantings and what I'm talking about. I hope I'm not the only one with crazy emotional swings. Maybe it will give someone a good laugh, who knows? I just need to vent and get it out. This Wednesday during playoffs I plan to gain composure of myself, keep my attitude in the right place, and play hard and do well. And if I don't? Really? A girl can only take so much! I am going to OWN THAT FIELD!
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I am so excited about this new recipe I came up with last weekend, I have to share it now!!! ( I forgot to take a picture, so when I make it again, I will post it to my side dish page. With football season now here, your going to want this for parties!!!)
I originally wanted to make jalapeno poppers for a barbeque last weekend, but was starting to feel stressed trying to figure out the timing on when to cook them so they would still be warm when we got there, PLUS trying to get myself ready......and so my venture turned into a dip! An amazing, yummy, creamy dip. Here you go, you are going to love it!!!! Jalapeno Popper Party Dip 2 8 ounce packages cream cheese 1/2 cup mayonnaise 1/2 cup sour cream 6-8 fresh jalapenos, diced, seeds left in 1/2 cup finely shredded Mexican cheese mix 2 additional tablespoons cheese (for sprinkling) 1/2 tablespoon plain breadcrumbs 1 box Ritz crackers, to serve with Using a Kitchen aid (really helpful), or by hand, combine cream cheese, mayonnaise, & sour cream, mixing well until smooth. Stir in jalapenos and cheese, combining well. Pour into serving bowl and sprinkle breadcrumbs and 2 tablespoons cheese over top. Serve right away or cover and refrigerate until ready. Serve with Ritz crackers. Enjoy!!! Last night I had a hard time falling asleep because my mind was racing about a million different things. Yesterday I felt a new determination rising in me regarding several different subjects, mostly relating to our household and budget. I keep thinking of Proverbs 31 which says:
"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate." Ladies, we have work to do!!! I am so challenged by this verse and encouraged to change. I do not want to be an ineffective, unproductive wife who sits around eating potato chips and watching soaps when I could be changing our life. The verses that particularly stuck out to me this week were:
This verse should be posted on everyone of our fridges. I believe that even a few small things everyday will help. Make lists and finish them! That has been very helpful for me. Here is a look at my sticky notes from earlier this week:
There is no greater feeling than when my husband walks through the door after a hard day at work and says." The house looks great, thank you so much for cleaning today." I love being praised by my husband after really working hard at something for the benefit of our marriage and life together. No, he won't always notice. But God does! And I usually point it out if he doesn't say something anyways. :) Get to work ladies!!! gabrielle abby This morning at work, I thought about how much I love being married. Of course it has ups and downs, as does everything in this life, but would I ever go back? Absolutely not! For one thing, we are bound in a covenant relationship and can't get out anyways. :)
The word divorce is not in our vocabulary, as it is not an option. It doesn't matter what life throws at us, we will go through it together. As I write this, I am tearing up a bit because I love my husband so much. No, he is not a perfect man. But I am not a perfect woman. There is no such thing! Some days I am raging mad at him, and other days I can't believe how lucky I am to have him. Typical. I'll never forget when we were on our honeymoon in Maui. We decided to go on a hiking day trip about 2 hours from where our hotel was. Like always, I was all excited and ready to go until a few unplanned things came our way. A little background before I tell the story: I am the most impatient person in the world, and my husband is the most patient person in the world. If that won't start a good fight, I don't know what will. Anyways, we started out. I was happy and taking pictures of all the gorgeous scenery on the way. Part of the way was rolling hills as green as Ireland with farms and animals roaming freely around. And then out of nowhere, the scenery changed to barren wasteland as if an extreme fire had wiped it all out. In the back of my mind I was thinking, "How can there possibly be a beautiful national park in all this mess?" Not to mention the road changed to a bumpy rocky nightmare and we couldn't drive more than 15 mph. I tried my best to be positive, but after an hour of driving without seeing any promising landmarks or signs, I finally spurted out, "I think we should turn around! We must have taken a wrong turn." My always patient husband responded, "No, lets keep going, the map says this is the right way." I immediately responded by crossing my arms and having a silent temper tantrum, while looking out the window to avoid eye contact with my husband. Classic girl move and so, so dumb. We sat there in silence while I was fuming because my husband refused to give in to my bratty attitude and turn the car around. Can I just say real quick, WHAT A MAN!!!!!! In the moment I am always angry with my husband when I don't get my way, but what a man to stand his ground. So glad my husband has a damn spine. So eventually we came across a small shop high in the hills. The lady at the counter said that yes there was in fact a national forest close by, and to keep going! We got back in the car, and after driving 20 minutes, out of nowhere, the scenery changed from brown to lush green. Absolutely breathtaking. I have never seen anything like it. Water so blue you could almost see straight throught it, tropical flowers growing everywhere, and warm sunlight shimmering through the trees. Boy did I feel stupid. I apologized to my husband, and we had the best day hiking together, and will remember it forever. I need him, and he needs me. Our completely different personalities and ways of thinking compliment each other. When I am having an emotional "down" he is there to comfort me and steer my emotions back in the right direction. When he is struggling, I am his fierce prayer warrior, helping him where I can. It can hurt to be so open with someone, but it also brings healing like nothing else. Life is such a gift. The ups and downs, the trials, the joys, and everything it brings! Here is a picture from the hike we took. Worth the crazy drive! I recently had to take my yearly 6-hour continuing education class to renew my x-ray tech license. For those of you who don't know me well, I work for a chiropractor as his assistant/office manager. Every year I dread this class. I am not good with the whole school thing, never have been. My mother told me I failed kindergarten because I didn't want to learn my alphabet, I wanted to play & make new friends. Yep, thats me! I would rather do pretty much anything else than school.
Anyways, because my husband knew I had to sit in this class all Saturday, he bought me a wonderful present; something I have wanted for a while: a mortar and pestle! This particular one is marble and really heavy. I cannot wait to use it!!! First thing on the menu: homemade pesto made with fresh basil ($5 for a living basil plant at Tacoma Boys), toasted pine nuts, garlic, parmesan cheese, & olive oil. Stay posted for the recipe, as I am planning on making this soon! Thank you Patrick! PS: he found this at TJMaxx for $7.99. The same one is at World Market for $19.99. You can really find some good kitchen utensils at TJMaxx for a great deal, if you are willing to take the time to look. I learned a very valuable lesson this week. The light bulb turned on for me.... :)
It is okay to show weakness. I know this isn't the most profound statement ever, but sometimes we need to admit to being human. I realized that I try to absorb and fix every single problem that comes my way. Instead of yelling "HELP!," I bite my lip, roll up my sleeves, and try to do everything myself. I go to the point of breaking, possibly a little broken, keep going, then explode with such an intense flame that it affects everyone around me to the point of being hurtful at times. (I truly apologize if it happened to be you). So last week I asked for a day off work; to catch up on bills, grocery shopping, and cleaning the house which was an absolute wreck. Not typical of me. I can't remember the last day I took off except for Thanksgiving and Christmas. And when my wonderful boss said yes, I couldn't help feeling guilty. Why? I honestly don't know. I seem to self-inflict guilt on myself if I let anyone down. If I say no to hanging out with someone, I feel guilty. If I am not constantly being productive with my time, I feel guilty. It is hard for me to take a break and just relax. So, that being said, I am trying to train my mind to understand that I can't be everything for everyone, although I feel I try hard to do so. Some days I will have to say no and realize my own boundaries. And more importantly, recognize that we weren't designed or created to take all of life's problems, drama, & difficulties by ourselves when Jesus is right there beside us wanting to lift the burden off our shoulders and instill peace in us. Thank God He is bigger than any situation, trouble, or issue I come across in this crazy thing called life. My trust needs to be in Him at all times regardless of any circumstance. "You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. " Isaiah 26:3 Perfect peace? Shit. I don't think I have ever been in perfect peace, but I am trying to trust God even when my small mind can't see a reason to. gabrielle abby Homemade lasagna always tastes best, no matter what. Although there are some amazing restaurants out there that my offer their version of lasagna, for me, it needs to be homemade. I have searched high and low for a good lasagna recipe and have not come across one that satisfies my taste buds. My biggest problem with the recipes I have found: there is never enough sauce! Who wants dry lasagna that is just noodles? No. It needs to be bubbling over with flavorful sauce and cheesy goodness. So, last night, I decided to conquer this dish; throw out the cookbook and try my own version. The result: Success! It "passed" my husbands approval and our friend that came over. I used italian sausage because the flavor it gives is incredible, probably twice the amount of sauce you find in any other recipe, and both ricotta and cottage cheese. Usually recipes call for one or the other, but ricotta is too dry for me to use on its own, and cottage cheese is too chunky on its own. So I mixed 'em! When I am creating a new recipe, it is usually either a disaster or a success. In this case, it was a keeper. Here is the recipe, I hope you enjoy! Gabbi's Lasagna What does it mean to be a strong woman? For some reason I was thinking about this as I drove home from work tonight. When I think of a strong woman, I do not think of overbearing, loud, demanding, proud, or even "independent" as today's society is so eager to strive for. I think of the little old lady that comes into my office with wrinkles painting her face who reaches over to give her husband a kiss after 50 plus years together.
I think of a gentle, quiet countenance that serves her family every day with a smile instead of a frown. I think of a willingness to help her husband be the man he was created to be, by simply allowing him to be the head of the home, or just letting him know you support and respect his decisions. I think of a home that is clean and in order, where you know there is peace, because this woman works hard every day for it. A strong woman puts others first at times, especially her family. She does not let her emotions control her, but takes time to think rationally before acting. A strong woman is quick to forgive even if she does not want to. She realizes it is okay to be vulnerable and show weakness at times. She is the first one to say "I'm sorry," even when it is hard to admit being wrong. A strong woman is strong not because of what she says but what she does. Instead of saying hurtful things about others, she holds her tongue. She looks to always build up others, and never tear them down. She does not try and find approval or affirmation from others, but is secure in who she is already. If no one sees all the dishes she washes and toilets she scrubs, and loads of laundry she folds, she does not pity herself, because thankfulness and joy seeps out of her every being. She is not afraid to get her hands dirty. And when she is so tired that she can barely keep her eyes open, she is still looking to serve and help others. Her husband knows that she is by his side and is being productive and fruitful with her time. A strong woman is one of a kind, a rare treasure. gabrielle abby FEAR. It is amazing what we allow this four letter word to do in our lives. We allow it to make decisions for us. We allow it to hold us back in many areas of our lives. We allow it to control us.
I am so excited to start this cooking blog. It has been a thought in my mind for several months. Strangely enough, I have been afraid to start it. Afraid that no one will like it, afraid that I'm not a good enough cook, and the list goes on! I don't know how many times I have told myself, "this is a dumb idea - there are so many better cooks out there than me..." Well...that is true. There are definitely many many MANY better cooks and chefs out there, but the bottom line is , I love to cook! And I want to share my favorite recipes, disasters, & stories with anyone who wants to read them. My main vision is to create a place to come and find simple, delicious recipes that don't break the budget! So many of us have incredible talents and dreams hidden by fear, insecurity, & excuses, when all we have to is shove fear out of the way and move forward. It is easier than we build it up to be. Moving forward can include failure, disasters, train wrecks, & tears, but at least we are moving forward and not living life stagnant, which can mean inactive, sluggish, or dull! Are you catching my drift? I encourage you to look and see if fear, insecurity, or excuses may be holding you back from something, anything! Live life to it's fullest! gabrielle abby
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