I'm not going to lie. My pride took a pretty hard hit this weekend. I guess that's just God's way of making sure I don't turn into a total brat???? I'm not really sure. Nonetheless, last night I wasn't sure I could pick myself  up again. A bit of background in case you don't know me.... I play softball with my husband. Our season starts in the spring and we play through the fall when the weather starts turning gross. This is my second year playing and I absolutely love it. I play outfield, usually left  or left center, and take pride in the fact that I can catch, run, and hit without looking like a stupid girl. :) I take pride in the fact I can keep up with boys in sports (and sometimes beat them) and they are usually impressed. Well, we had two games last night, and I did in fact look like a stupid girl. I don't know what was wrong with me, I was definitely having an "off" night. The only time I got on base was when I got walked. I dropped 3 balls in the outfield, which hardly ever happens. When I got up to bat, the other team was chanting, "she's a looker, not a hitter. She won't ever hit the ball." I probably would have started a fight if my husband wasn't there to calm me down. I was ready to fight that dumb girl on the other team saying those mean things. ( I get a little intense when I play sports - just ask my team. I made a guy on MY OWN TEAM quit after I yelled at him for dropping a ball. I am not proud of that; I did apologize to him though.) So after our first game, I thought to myself, "well, I can redeem myself and regain my dignity during our second game." That didn't happen. I played worse than my 1st game. I walked home in shame that night.  I tried to find something that I could be mad at my husband Patrick about, but I knew deep down I was really just mad and irritated with myself, which made me even more mad! I barely said two words all night to him. Am I dramatic? Absolutely. But when I put my heart into something, I put my WHOLE heart into it, so it hits me twice as hard when things don't go my way, or I fail at something.

Well, things always look better in the morning after a good strong cup of coffee, I have come to learn. It's best if I just go to bed and sleep it off. I can laugh about it now, but it felt so real to me at the moment. I felt like I never wanted to play again, that I should just give up and quit.  I know someone out there understands my rantings and what I'm talking about. I hope I'm not the only one with crazy emotional swings. Maybe it will give someone a good laugh, who knows? I just need to vent and get it out. This Wednesday during playoffs I plan to gain composure of myself, keep my attitude in the right place, and play hard and do well.  And if I don't? Really? A girl can only take so much! I am going to OWN THAT FIELD!

I am so excited about this new recipe I came up with last weekend, I have to share it now!!! ( I forgot to take a picture, so when I make it again, I will post it to my side dish page. With football season now here, your going to want this for parties!!!)
I originally wanted to make jalapeno poppers for a barbeque last weekend, but was starting to feel stressed trying to figure out the timing on when to cook them so they would still be warm when we got there, PLUS trying to get myself ready......and so my venture turned into a dip! An amazing, yummy, creamy dip.  Here you go, you are going to love it!!!!

Jalapeno Popper Party Dip

2 8 ounce packages cream cheese
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup sour cream
6-8 fresh jalapenos, diced, seeds left in
1/2 cup finely shredded Mexican cheese mix
2 additional tablespoons cheese (for sprinkling)
1/2 tablespoon plain breadcrumbs
1 box Ritz crackers, to serve with

Using a Kitchen aid (really helpful), or by hand, combine cream cheese, mayonnaise, & sour cream, mixing well until smooth.  Stir in jalapenos and cheese, combining well.  Pour into serving bowl and sprinkle breadcrumbs and 2 tablespoons cheese over top. Serve right away or cover and refrigerate until ready. Serve with Ritz crackers. Enjoy!!!